I’m all round face — good morning
swollen eyes, errors, eyelashes stuck
together, mouth, morning breath — sour
could shake loose a tooth, bring a lost tear
to the brim. I’m so wired
fractured nails from picking, scratching
at inside itches. wired wrong,
so many errors, did you dream about me?
when you tossed and turned, woke up
thirsty, cold — I was dreaming of you,
woke up soaked with sweat and a wet
mouth. why is it so easy
for me to love you, no matter what,
so easy to hate myself
no matter what. I try to cleanse
It was like I knew something was wrong before it all happened but I was too busy being busy to really notice you know like busy with work, driving to work, music too loud to hear my own thoughts, busy with going places to distract myself, to kill time, busy with sleeping and not sleeping and being tired and talking about being tired and then everything changed and stopped and so did my body, LOCKDOWN she said, and slammed on the breaks. She said NO, NO MORE, and I was confused, like no more of what? You’re fine, we’re doing…
who’s pets are we
and are we good? loved?
are we well behaved? is the gentle breeze
on an october afternoon god’s version
of a pat on the head?
are we dangerous? do some of us
need to be muzzled
caged, what about the ones with guns?
and the strays
do they too feel the warm brush of wind
like a scratch behind the ear
or does the wind skip past them
leaving them to be only touched by the rain.
sometimes i think about a dog on a long lead.
how to them, it seems like freedom.
I was in love with you before I met you.
In love with the idea of you. The idea of a dog to call my own, to cuddle, go on walks. A best friend.
I cried when I opened the wrapped piece of paper with your photo on it.
How many of my tears, dedicated to you?
You were hard work.
The best sort of hard work. I was too young to know how to properly train you.
No one ever showed you much patience.
You showed us plenty.
Somedays, mostdays. …